Renaissance.

Listening to "kiss the rain"- A melodic, pensive piece of piano song..... When can i play it for myself?

Went out with my JC classmate this afternoon. Never see them for almost 1 year. There were a lot to chat and it was quite fun... They were still the same - speech, posture and even the things you see in their eyes. For me, i know i am not the same. In my eyes, i can feel weariness and countless toll.

I used to link coincidences or even every incidents with fate. But now, i am no longer fatalistic, i must acknowledge that everything that happens happens from my hand. I am the cause, and i must accept the consequences and whatever that follows. I shan't says is god's will or is the working of fate. I must accept the responsibilities no matter how heavy it is....

With immense responsibilities, it is either you die trying or you simply got to grow stronger. The path is never meant to be easy, just like God love to test and set trials for mankind( FYI, I am agnostic). Some people yearn for freedom and no responsibilities. But, they do not know that to be free from responsibilities, you must first be laden with responsibilities. The same goes to freedom. It is just like people will learn to treasure only after they have lost something.

How much can we really rely on our eyes? The vision is great, it is colourful, animate and sometimes arousing. Despite all these great stuff our eyes bestow us, they tend to misguide us as well. What i can see is only the gorgeous look, curvy body, long enchanting eyelashes but i can't see her heartbeat. Perhaps, i am too accustomed to using my eyes that i have forgotten how to close my eyes.

I have been consistently walking with my eyes open with her. Now is time to take a break. Stop walking and close my eyes. Use my ear and listen...... What am i listening for? I do not know. Maybe is someone at one corner of this globe whose heart resonate with my heart, or maybe is just the wind, the light, the friends around me, my parents.... I really don't know. All i know is right now, i am listening to music - Kiss the rain....

I may have lost a very important person of my life, but i learn a lot of things. I know i become bolder and stronger.... If i can survive a direct knife thrusting into my heart, what more shall i fear. I love closing my eyes and listening now.... It reveals another facet of the world and people around me. Over this 5 months i have been sharing and talking, and at the same time, i had absorbed a lot of stuffs.... I had answers to many of my questions.

This entry will conclude this part of my life. I shan't not mention anything related to her anymore.

I am losing the glow in my eyes. Can i get it back? How can i get it back?
More white hairs on my head. Is it i am too tired?