Too much of a coincidence,

Great, 3 months since i last saw this blogging interface. 2 more months to university's life, 6 months since i ORD and a total of 8 months of freedom in my hand. I promised to make this 8 months a fulfilling and productive one, and thus far, i think everything is going quite well. Not exactly as planned, but is satisfying enough. Next up, is to enjoy and plan for my last 2 months. Then i will talk about some random thoughts below....

Looking back (not too back actually), i have taught in PJC for 4 months. Taking the role of a teacher does indeed expose me to a different vantage point, different environment and different experience. I learned a great deal of stuffs from this fresh experience and of course from my students also. For example, the technique of voice projection to allow u to consistently yell from 3 hours, and ways of dealing with different people and various impromptu shit (yes.. it's shitty). haha... But all in all, i think is fun and memorable and i've made lots of friends in the process. Sometimes, different events in life are connected in such a weird manner that the end result is something one could never have expected. Going to PJC to teach is never my intention, and as a matter of fact, i dislike that place, mainly because of the bad memories that i have during the 2 years there. But, amazingly.... with a bit of coincidence (All because of Nguan kiang), i am given a place to teach there, in a time of bad economy. Isnt it kind of ironic? A place that i disliked actually ended up "saving" me? And because of the fun and all-new experiences i have in teaching in PJC, i think my impression of PJC take a change. Well, maybe that is fate or maybe its just mere coincidence. But, i would prefer to believe in the former one. :)

I dont know since when i become more ambivalent, more cynical, more thinking. haha... there are comments by my colleague that i am ambivalent as in, i will say one thing, and after that say the opposing stuffs to what i say. hmm... let me rationalise that. Life itself is a conundrum, no doubt about it, there are always various facets to an issue, and perhaps, being exposed to the conundrum in life, i am more apt in see things from different angles and most of the time taking a stand is hard. So, i ended up saying contradictory statements. As for the cynical and thinking part, i think its just because i am more conscious of the world i am surviving in. Perhaps just like what karl marx thinks, "workers can only become more conscious through revolution". In essence, it is the straits and tribulations that makes one more aware and pull him out of the quixotic dream that he is in.

Oh yes.... that is one kind of person which i could not bring myself to talk to - People with a closed mind and overvalue his own opinion too much. Yeap, this kind of people will tend to be too sure of what he knows or what he says, so leaving no room for second opinion. When facing such people, i just tend to end conversation fast. haha.... because unfortunately or perhaps fortunately i like to engage in "discussion", and talking to such people will tend to have a frustrating result. In my workplace, i have seen fellow colleagues and students that belong to such category. Well... cant really do anything about it. perhaps some day they will meet their stumbling block and change ba....

This 5 months is really a period where i make a lot of new friends, through badminton and through my workplace. It really sets me thinking about human's relation. first question that comes to my mind is, "Why do we behave differently in front of different people? Are we being hypocritic? which personality then is the real one?" hmm....i have more or less gotten an answer for it. we behave in accordance to other's interest, common topics and familiarity. All the different self that we portrayed are equally real, because they are just different part of us (Atomistic theory). Yeap... then i draw a conclusion that no one can entirely understand a person, no matter how close they are, so different people understand different part of you, some bigger part and some smaller, but never entirely. Link to my life.... during the teaching period, i din portray the thinking and mature side of me, but i choose to show the fun, frivolous and childish side of me. well... i din really know why i choose to show this side, maybe this is what i want them to remember me for.

Ok.... i think this entry is pretty long, is time to end it ba....